When parents visit a school, they will almost certainly hear the phrase ‘pastoral care’. It is one of those expressions that schools use frequently, but what does it actually mean, and why should it matter to parents?
For me, pastoral care is quite simply about how well we look after the children in our care. Not just their academic progress, but their happiness, confidence, friendships, emotional wellbeing and sense of belonging.
As a Headteacher, I firmly believe that children need to feel happy, safe and valued before they can truly flourish as learners. A child who is worried, unhappy or struggling with friendships is unlikely to be able to give their best in the classroom, however good the teaching may be.
Of course, every parent wants their child to achieve academically, but I would suggest that, above all else, they want their child to be happy. They want to know that when they wave goodbye at the school gate, their child is going somewhere they feel safe, where they are understood and where someone will notice if they are having a difficult day.
That, to me, is what good pastoral care is all about.
What Do We Mean by Pastoral Care?
Pastoral care is the support a school provides for children’s personal, social and emotional development. It encompasses everything from helping a four-year-old settle into Reception to supporting an older child who is worried about friendships, struggling with confidence or feeling anxious about moving on to senior school.
It might involve helping a child navigate a disagreement with a friend, supporting a family through a difficult time or simply recognising that a child who is usually full of chatter is unusually quiet one morning.
And sometimes, it is the smallest things that make the biggest difference. A reassuring smile, a few minutes spent listening, a word of encouragement or a quiet conversation can completely change the course of a child’s day.
Good pastoral care isn’t just about responding when something goes wrong. It is about creating an environment where children feel secure, supported and valued every single day.
Why Does Pastoral Care Matter So Much?
Happy Children Are Ready to Learn
I have always believed that happiness and learning go hand in hand.
When children feel secure and confident, they are much more willing to ask questions, try something new, take risks with their learning and persevere when things become difficult.
Conversely, a child who is anxious, lonely or worried may find it difficult to concentrate, participate or reach their potential.
This is why pastoral care and academic achievement should never be seen as two separate things. They are closely connected, and one supports the other.
Knowing Children Well Makes All the Difference
One of the most important aspects of good pastoral care is knowing each child as an individual.
Children don’t always tell us when something is wrong. Sometimes we have to notice.
Perhaps a child who is normally enthusiastic is reluctant to join in. Perhaps someone who usually enjoys playtime has started spending time alone. Or perhaps a child who is normally confident suddenly seems unsure of themselves.
These changes can be subtle, but when teachers really know the children in their care, they are much more likely to recognise them.
Being able to step in early, offer reassurance or have a conversation before a small worry becomes a bigger problem is enormously important.
Developing Skills for Life
We often talk about preparing children for the next stage of their education, but surely our responsibility goes much further than that?
We are also helping to prepare them for life.
Learning how to manage disappointment, resolve disagreements, show empathy, build friendships and cope when things don’t go to plan are all essential skills.
Children need opportunities to make mistakes, experience setbacks and work through challenges, knowing that there are adults around them who will offer guidance and support.
Good pastoral care is not about removing every difficulty from a child’s path. It is about giving them the confidence, resilience and skills to navigate those difficulties successfully.
Pastoral Care Starts in the Early Years
For our youngest children, pastoral care is particularly important.
Starting nursery or school may be the first time a child has spent a significant amount of time away from their parents. Everything is new: the environment, the routines, the adults and the other children.
It is a big step, and one that different children manage in different ways.
The Early Years Foundation Stage (EYFS) recognises the importance of personal, social and emotional development as one of the three prime areas of learning. Every child in an early years setting has a key person who develops a close relationship with them and their family.
For young children, feeling safe, loved and secure is the foundation upon which everything else is built.
A child who feels confident that an adult will comfort them when they are upset, celebrate their achievements and help them when they are unsure is far more likely to explore, play, make friends and embrace new experiences.
And, of course, that need for reassurance and emotional security doesn’t disappear when children move out of the Early Years. It simply changes as they grow.
What Does Good Pastoral Care Look Like in Practice?
I think the best pastoral care is often the kind you barely notice, because it is so naturally woven into the everyday life of a school.
It is evident in the way staff greet children in the morning, how they speak to them, how they manage disagreements and how they celebrate achievements.
There are, however, some important things I would encourage parents to look for.
Staff Who Really Know the Children
Knowing a child’s name is one thing. Knowing what makes them tick is quite another!
A good teacher knows who needs a little encouragement to put their hand up, who might need extra reassurance before trying something new and who is likely to worry about getting something wrong.
They know about friendships, family circumstances, interests and individual personalities.
Small classes can make a real difference here, giving teachers the time and opportunity to build meaningful relationships with each child.
Children Who Feel Comfortable Asking for Help
One of the most important messages we can give children is that they should never feel embarrassed or worried about asking for help.
Whether they have fallen out with a friend, are finding something difficult or simply need someone to listen, they should know that there is always a trusted adult they can turn to.
Just as importantly, they need to know that their concerns will be taken seriously.
Something that may seem insignificant to an adult can feel enormous to a child. Taking the time to listen and understand their perspective is essential.
Teaching Children About Relationships and Emotions
Pastoral care isn’t just about what happens outside the classroom. It should also be reflected in what children are taught.
Through Personal, Social, Health and Economic Education (PSHE), children learn about friendships, feelings, relationships, healthy choices, personal safety and the importance of respecting others.
At Broughton Manor, our Values Based Education approach adds another important dimension to this.
Values such as kindness, respect, courage, responsibility and resilience are not simply words displayed on classroom walls. We want children to understand what they mean and, more importantly, what they look like in everyday life.
We encourage children to reflect on their choices, recognise how their actions affect others and take responsibility when things go wrong.
After all, learning to say sorry, make amends and do better next time is just as important as learning to celebrate success.
A Strong Partnership Between Home and School
I cannot overstate the importance of good communication between parents and teachers.
Parents know their children better than anyone, and schools see them in a different environment, facing different challenges and experiences.
When we share what we know, we are in a much stronger position to support them.
Sometimes a parent may tell us that their child is worried about something that has happened at school. Equally, a teacher might notice a change in behaviour that prompts a conversation with home.
Neither party has the complete picture on their own.
The best outcomes for children come when parents and schools work together, with a shared understanding that everyone wants what is best for the child.
A Culture Where Kindness Matters
Children learn as much from what they see and experience as they do from what they are taught.
A school where adults consistently model kindness, respect, patience and fairness sends a powerful message.
Of course, children will sometimes fall out. They will make unkind comments, become frustrated and make poor choices. That is part of growing up.
What matters is how the adults around them respond.
Good pastoral care means dealing with difficulties fairly and consistently, helping children understand the impact of their actions and giving them opportunities to put things right.
It is about creating a community where everyone feels that they belong and where differences are understood, respected and celebrated.
What Should Parents Look for When Choosing a School?
When visiting a school, it is easy to be impressed by beautiful classrooms, exciting facilities and impressive academic results. All of these things have their place, but I would encourage parents to look beyond them.
Watch how the children interact with each other. Notice how staff speak to pupils. Do the children seem relaxed and happy? Are they confident enough to talk to visitors? Is there a genuine sense of warmth and community?
And don’t be afraid to ask questions.
- How do teachers get to know each child as an individual?
- What happens if my child is unhappy or worried about something?
- How does the school support children who struggle with friendships or confidence?
- How are disagreements and unkind behaviour managed?
- How does the school communicate with parents when concerns arise?
- What support is available during significant changes, such as bereavement, family difficulties or moving to senior school?
I would also encourage parents to trust their instincts. You can often get a very good feel for a school simply by spending time there and observing how people treat one another.
Pastoral Care at Broughton Manor Prep
At Broughton Manor Preparatory School, pastoral care is at the heart of everything we do.
We are fortunate to have small classes, which means our teachers have the opportunity to really get to know the children in their care. We know their strengths, their interests, their friendships and, just as importantly, the things they may find difficult.
We celebrate academic success, of course, but we also recognise the many other achievements that are equally worthy of praise.
The child who finally finds the courage to speak in assembly, the one who perseveres with something they find difficult, the pupil who notices that someone is lonely and invites them to join a game, or the child who takes responsibility for a mistake and puts it right.
These are all moments that matter, and they deserve to be recognised.
Our Values Based Education approach plays an important role in shaping the culture of our school. Through assemblies, classroom discussions, PSHE lessons and everyday interactions, we encourage children to think about the kind of people they want to be and the contribution they can make to their community.
We want our children to be kind, thoughtful, confident and resilient. We want them to understand that their voice matters, that they have responsibilities towards others and that making mistakes is part of learning.
Most importantly, we want every child to feel that they belong.
It was particularly pleasing that our June 2025 Independent Schools Inspectorate report recognised this aspect of school life, noting that:
“Leaders actively and carefully promote pupils’ wellbeing. Staff know the pupils well and respond quickly to their individual needs.”
The inspectors also described our school community as “inclusive and supportive.”
For me, these comments are especially meaningful because they reflect something that I believe is fundamental to a successful school.
Academic achievement is important, but so too is the experience children have along the way.
Frequently Asked Questions
What is pastoral care in a primary or prep school?
Pastoral care is the support a school provides for children’s emotional, social and personal wellbeing. It includes helping children build friendships, manage feelings, develop confidence, feel safe and cope with challenges both in and out of school.
Is pastoral care the same as safeguarding?
Not quite. Safeguarding is about protecting children from harm and ensuring their safety and welfare. It is an essential part of a school’s responsibilities. Pastoral care is broader and includes the everyday support that helps children feel happy, secure, confident and valued.
How can I tell if a school has good pastoral care?
Look at the relationships between staff and pupils, ask how the school supports children who are worried or unhappy, and find out how concerns are communicated to parents. Inspection reports can also provide useful information, but there is no substitute for visiting a school and seeing its culture for yourself.
Why is pastoral care so important for younger children?
Young children are still learning to understand their feelings, form relationships and become independent. Feeling safe and secure gives them the confidence to explore, learn and develop. These early experiences help lay the foundations for their future emotional wellbeing.
A Final Thought
When I think about what makes a really good school, I don’t immediately think about examination results, facilities or even the curriculum, important though all of those things are.
I think about the children.
Are they happy? Do they feel safe? Do they have friends? Are they confident enough to be themselves, to make mistakes, to ask questions and to try again when things go wrong?
Do they know that someone will notice if they are having a difficult day, and that there is always an adult who will listen?
And, perhaps most importantly, do they feel that they matter?
Every child deserves to feel known, valued and understood. Not just when they are achieving or behaving beautifully, but every single day.
That, for me, is the essence of good pastoral care, and it is something that should never be underestimated.
